LEARN TO BE HAPPY WITH ANKYLOSING SPONDYLITIS

 "Life with AS is like a hurdle race. After some steps there is another hurdle to cross.Only difference is that you don't win it at the end, with every passing hurdle its a win and enjoy that every short win."

In my  post " My experience with Ankylosing Spondylitis "  i told you about my bad journey of getting diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and whatever i lost. Although i have almost similar physical conditions but i am happy now. In my poem "I will win" that i posted i wanted to show a life of AS patient. All the things that i saw changing in my life,all the bad experiences. But that is not how life should be so i ended up with a win.

It took me a long time to accept that i have AS. I am sure everyone out there faces the same problem and always have a question in mind "WHY ME". Even after lot of tears and pain we don't find answer to this question. Its because we don't accept the reality. For almost 4 years i kept searching internet for symptoms and kept consulting doctors about the cure of disease. Every time when i visited doctor i always asked this question that HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS? .I always knew the answer but still mind was never at peace. I stopped believing in myself and I was so depressed that i even consulted a psychiatrist. But he turned out to be a jerk. I couldn't stop laughing at myself that i went to a psychiatrist. I was depressed and tired of living but still my smile never goes of my face. Its a rare quality mostly found in mad people.But it helped me a lot. Life with AS is very hard ,it takes away all your colors. That is because we never want to live a life that we should. AS doesn't allow us to lift heavy weights in gym but still we do it and end up with more pain and frustration. It doesn't give us liberty to have a flexible mornings but still we avoid exercises which slowly degrades our mobility. Life is precious ,live happy with what you have. Don't ignore what your body says just because you are lazy or weak enough to accept that you do not have a healthy body like normal people around you. You know the results ,after sometime you will end up with fused spine and you will think "Why didn't i listen to my body. Now i have to pay a big price for being lazy ".At that moment no matter how dedicated you are ,your flexibility will not be back without a surgery.

Next time when you ask yourself the question that WHY ME. I would suggest you to ask another question.
Why not parkinsons?
Why not cancer?
Why i didnt end up with permanent disability??
Have you got answers to these questions. Hope you have realized that even though you are a patient of painful disease called AS ,you are still lucky to have a lot more then many unfortunate people. Its depends on you whether you see the cup half empty or half full.

I am a patient myself so i understand the mental state of AS patient. That constant urge to relieve physical pain and urge to find someone to share your grieve. Even i looked for people to listen to my cries. But it didn't took me long to understand that no one would understand it and this world is not good enough to share your weakness. Just for that support i became what i was not, a person living on mercy of others support. But now i am not the kind of person who lives with the crowd. For me terms like love,expectations,satisfaction are complete different ideas based on reality, not on normal human perception. More then the world around me i try to explore myself. How my mind control me and how these subtle expectation with every thing that we do effect us. You can go to any doctor or search for shoulders to cry upon but someday you have to look for your support.

 I often read that a person with AS needs someone to love him/her. This advise is for the weak  who cannot dare to challenge AS. I don't need anyone to support me and i am happy. I enjoy life to the fullest ,i party with my friends ,travel a lot with the same pain that you have. Like you even i am in relationship but its not a dependency. For me love is not dependency neither the way to change myself according my partners need. When i am in pain i look for my support. The simple way to do that is look for what you have. For me its my family, my brother, my best friend and my never ending smile. Before you feel that life is hell just keep in my that even after crying for hours you have to life the same life with AS,suffer the same pain. So why not learn to be happy. Physical pain have many cures but for mental pain you have to be your doctor. Neither you have to change yourself nor you have to cry for changes in your life. You just have to know yourself and your body.

Learn to take life easy. Do not take daily exercises as a compulsion. Think of a body builder, gym is a worship place for him. You do not need any weight lifting neither you have to prove anyone that you are normal person who can lift any amount of weight. You already know that you are not normal so listen to your body and accordingly follow daily exercises. You can do low-impact exercise like swimming. Swimming is a great fun ,you will enjoy it.

Enjoy whatever you want in life. Your mind decides your limit of what you can do. If you enjoy it even in the pain then its in your limits,doesn't matter how extreme it is. I play sports even in pain because the enjoyment of playing with friends is much more then every painful step on ground. That is the power of happiness and the attitude of living life with smile.I don't ever care about my diet ,i am crazy for good food no matter it has any amount of starch or fat. Daily exercises makeup for this extra weight. I know how much my  body can handle and how much i can control my mind. I wont advise you to go to extremes but you should know your limits. I wake up in pain but i don't stop. I put on my shoes go for little jogging to warm up. Then i continue with moderate stretching exercise and some yoga. At last pushups. Every pushup makes me feel like AS kicker. It is enough to live a healthy and flexible day and how much effort does it take to be conscious of how you are sitting. Whenever you sit just be conscious of how you are sitting. Just keep your back straight and soon it will come into habit. If you have severe pain then instead of alopathic painkillers you can have ayurvedic painkillers. They are equally effective and harmless for your body.

After reading this article i am sure some of you would say its not that easy to be happy with the help of these few words. This question would come in the mind of only those who refuse to accept that they are not normal. So, learn to be happy with Ankylosing spondylitis .

If you have anything to share that can help me or every other person with AS then you are welcomed to share it here.